Why are you single?
When someone asks:”Why are you single?” just say, I’m in a long distance relationship. My boyfriend lives in the Future.
The woes of biracial dating
Me: *trying to sleep*
Boyfriend: *suddenly chatty*
Me: GO TO SLEEP
Boyfriend: But I'm not sleepy! Let me tell you about the epiphanies I'm having
Me: ¿Qué?
Boyfriend: *insert epiphany here*
Me: ¿Qué?
Boyfriend: *insert another epiphany here*
Me: ¿Qué?
Boyfriend: STOP THAT IT'S ANNOYING
Me: ¿Qué?
Boyfriend: GODDAMNIT STOP IT
Me: ¿Qué?
Boyfriend: I'm going to squish you now.
Me: ¡NO PUEDO RESPIRAR ME ESTAS APLASTANDO, GORDO! (I can't breathe, you're squishing me fatty!)
Boyfriend: ................ I don't know what "GORDO" means, but I'm certain it's something I don't want you calling me.
Me: Lulz!
Oh, my life....
stfu.
it’s starting to piss me off how this bitch keeps making innapropriate comments about me and my boyfriend. she acts like we’re filming a pornography when all we do is hold hands, or just sit down together. i get that you’re alone, and bitter cause no one wants your nasty ass, but here’s a thought, stop being such a cunt, and you wouldn’t have this problem? basically just grow the fuck up, you’re in high school.
Turn To Stone (by IngridMichaelson)
